Hey kids out there. What’s is up.

Hey morning and welcome back ya’ll.  it is good to be back to blogging and my pathetic life, which I am sure you’ll all agree is not worth writing about. But none the less here I go with it.

I filled in for Mike B’s show Body Rock on WMNF.  It comes on Thursday morning midnight to 3am.  I was really honored that he asked me to fill in. I personally think his show is one of the best shows on MNF.  So I had one day to prep, the day of.  So the first hours was a total train wreck in my opinion. I sounded like an idiot, even more so than normal, It had been 6 months since I last  did a show, and right off the bat, like first song, it crashed.  I had the song in cue which when you play it only goes to the headphones and not out broadcasting.  Then I had 5 different cd’s start to skip. Anyways, by the second hour and third hour was much better, and I think I kept true to the format of the show; which I felt important do.

In other news, I have a ton of work to do. I have to finish revising the bylaws to revise for the Tampa Veteran Mental Health Advocacy Council. I have to build the VMHAC membership. I got so many books to read. Research for the film,  it is a film about sex trafficking and combat veterans issues, then write it. Then comes raising the capital to shoot and market it.  Write a business plan for the production company, then raise capital to start that.

I have fallen behind to say the least. And for those know me know I have to soon clear my name publicly. So that should be fun.  I also am looking into becoming a veterans mentor for veterans court. I’ll get into that later when I know more, but you get the idea. A veteran commits a crime and the court sets up a program that the vet has to do. Once he or she completes the program his record becomes clean. Mentors help the veteran through the process and guilds him or her. I want to be a mentor. I think I would be of use in that role.

Oh and finally, I have to start painting. I have 38 canvases that need to be painted.

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I now hate my life.

I just got done watching a lecture by Maria Popova who is the creator and curator on Brain Pickings, which I believe is one of the best website on the internet.  If you are a creative you need to be reading her website.  No ifs, and or buts about it.  Anyways, I just got done watching this amazing lecture she gave on life and creativity and it occurred to me that I hate my life.  I am a not doing it right. I am really an unhappy person. I see that there is so much I need to cut out of it and so much to replace it with.

For one thing, I need to get out of my house and start living. I’ll talm about that more later. Another is show up and work. Stop letting bullshit and people get in my way.  I let too much and too many people distract me.  I have no structure.  I stay in my house all the time and rarely go out.  I really need to start showing up and put structure my life.  I need start investing in the friends I have and make new ones, and applying the things that my therapist has suggested.

You know my favorite quote is by the  American painter Chuck Close who said “Inspiration is for amateurs, the rest of us show up and get to work.  I have this quote on my business card, yet, I don’t do that.  For Christ  sake, I have 5 unfinished paintings one of which I got money for months ago. I have a film that has been in “Development” for over a year, and a series that needs to be researched and written.

I really can’t keep this up. It all needs to change, change now.

 

 

 

2015

Happy New Years All!!!

I am excited about this year. Professionally I many great opportunities: I have a feature film and a series to develop and write, I been asked to help build a art and culture organization,  I am going to lay the ground work for starting a film society here in the Tampa Bay area, dive into art and other creative endeavors, and look into starting businesses.

Personally I want to build strong personal relationships and become a leader again in my community.

Here are my goals for 2015.

  1. Do all this shit
  2. LIVE LIFE TO ITS FULLEST
  3. Continue to clear my name.
  4. Get into combat shape.
  5. Quit smoking.
  6. Write on a regular basis.
  7. Keep yard and house clean.
  8. Research, develop, write series and feature.
  9. Meditate and be more spiritual.
  10. Art and photography.
  11. Help people and be a leader in the community.
  12. Read a lot, catch up on magazines and read 40 books.
  13. Watch 250 movies.
  14. Write business plan and start my production company.
  15. Eat healthy.
  16. Start doing the groundwork for Film Society.
  17. Take classes and master courses.
  18. Be positive.
  19. Foster a serious work ethic.

So, yeah, there you have it.  Let me know what your goals are and subjects you want me to cover.

 

So taking action toward my fintess.

So I wrote today about my about my first rule of fashion is being fit, and after that I looked into the YMCA down the street. It is an excellent facility with numerous types of classes such as yoga, tai chi, cardio classes, aqua aerobics, and so on. They have a great gym and swimming pool, and in addition to that they have personal trainers which is great since I want to get into a routine and achieve my fitness goals. But look, you do not have to join a gym, that is if you can’t, you can learn off the interwebs about getting in shape. Here is a great YouTube page to go to Six Pack Shortcuts      Mike Chang is  great and I think you’ll like him.

In addition to that, since I am joining a gym it is time to quit smoking. It is something I really have to do for all the obvious reasons. So yeah join a gym if you can and do it. You feel and look great and your clothes will look great on you which is one of the goals in being fashionable.

 

 

Personal hells

The past 3 1/2 weeks have been emotionally tough. A lot has gone on and a lot of pain to go with it.  I am trying to keep my head and heart up. Stiff upper lip and all that bullshit.  One minute I will see the good and wonderful in my life and the next wanting to swallow a shotgun. Remember the bullet never lies.  I will get through this. That I am sure. After surviving this past year I am pretty sure I will; however you never know, I might just say fuck it and go check out what is on the other side. And before you all start this more to life bullshit, just stop, I don’t want to hear it nor do I care. Save it for someone who wants to hear it, because I sure as fuck don’t

So things to come.  I am really throwing myself into a series that I am developing. My goal is to get it picked up by a network and if that fails, which it most likely will, I will turn it into a web series. I love the long form story. I have a lot of research to do. and many books to read along with numerous articles to cover. On top of that take a  crash course into screenwriting.  I will get the hang of it, that I have no doubt. Plus, I have good people around me who can give me good notes and advice.

Now if I don’t swallow a shotgun, here is what else is on my plate: I am going to starting writing on a regular basis. This is something I should have been doing years ago, but didn’t, thus wasting my talents. I also am getting back into making art. It has been over a decade since I did any actual work, and there is a lot that  is in my head and it is time to start making it.

I am also getting into shape which in itself might kill me before I have the chance.  I really need to get into shape.  Along with comes meditation. It is something I have to do but am terrified of doing. I am afraid pain will come p0uring out of me. I think I am afraid to feel certain things. Certain degrees of pain.

I also just need to become the person I want and need to become. I have so far to go if I am to get there. I do not know who if anyone will be with me on that journey if I take it.  I just know I need to take it and that is the hardest part.

 

till next time.