I now hate my life.

I just got done watching a lecture by Maria Popova who is the creator and curator on Brain Pickings, which I believe is one of the best website on the internet.  If you are a creative you need to be reading her website.  No ifs, and or buts about it.  Anyways, I just got done watching this amazing lecture she gave on life and creativity and it occurred to me that I hate my life.  I am a not doing it right. I am really an unhappy person. I see that there is so much I need to cut out of it and so much to replace it with.

For one thing, I need to get out of my house and start living. I’ll talm about that more later. Another is show up and work. Stop letting bullshit and people get in my way.  I let too much and too many people distract me.  I have no structure.  I stay in my house all the time and rarely go out.  I really need to start showing up and put structure my life.  I need start investing in the friends I have and make new ones, and applying the things that my therapist has suggested.

You know my favorite quote is by the  American painter Chuck Close who said “Inspiration is for amateurs, the rest of us show up and get to work.  I have this quote on my business card, yet, I don’t do that.  For Christ  sake, I have 5 unfinished paintings one of which I got money for months ago. I have a film that has been in “Development” for over a year, and a series that needs to be researched and written.

I really can’t keep this up. It all needs to change, change now.